Yikes

Holy moly. Where to begin?

I went to the temple yesterday with a friend. I usually go to the San Diego temple, but we decided to go to Redlands, which is a smaller temple where you have to make appointments AND they don't rent clothes.

That is no problem because I have my own clothes.

Fast forward to the part where I come out of the dressing room, with my dress unzipped, looking for my friend to zip me up.

2 sweet old ladies (temple workers) said "Oh!! We know that face! You're looking for someone to zip you up! Come here, sweetheart, we'll zip you up."

Now, fast forward to the part where they are both hunched over my zipper, one of them saying "Oh honey- try and suck it in a little", and the other is saying "Oh, Marlene- I hope it doesn't rip. Be careful!"

Mortifying is the only way to describe the situation.

By the time they got the dressed zipped up, it was a "fat guy in a little coat" situation and I thought I might rip the back of the dress when I sat down. (This is the dress I've had since I got endowed- 3 kids ago- when I was just a few pounds lighter! Since then I've rented dresses in San Diego).

Luckily my friend had a dress that was of the zip-up type and was baggy. She swapped with me (oh, did I mention MY dress had wet pit stains from sweating while worrying if the old ladies would get my dress zipped up?)

I'm calling Jenny Craig. And in the meantime, I'm buying a bigger dress.