Confession

Am I the only morbid one that thinks I'm going to die when I leave my family? Please tell me I'm not.

One time, after Scott and I were only married for a few months, I flew to London to hang out with my BFF. We took a ferry over to Calais, France, drove through northern France, Belgium, and Holland. (Yes, I stared at the prostitutes in the red light district in Amsterdam. It was awesome.) I had the time of my life. We stayed up late eating chocolate and watching Dutch TV, not understanding a word of it. But I ALMOST didn't make that trip- I was so scared of flying across the world without my husband.

I am completely neurotic and I was convinced that my flight from LAX to London would be hijaked by Islamic extremists and my husband of only a few months would be left to plan my funeral. So I did what any normal girl would do. I gave him a letter, with STRICT instructions: "DO NOT OPEN UNLESS I DIE." (I'd love to find that letter...it would be pretty amusing).

You can imagine now that I have deliciously yummy babies and even more years of married bliss under my belt, my anxiety is heightened. Now I REALLY don't want to be in some freak accident.

That should explain my state of being tonight. I leave my husband and 2 of my 3 babies tomorrow. I LOVE getting away, but my crazy side sets in and I start to worry. Before we put the kids in bed, we sat down to read scriptures like we do every night. Nothing special. Scott always reads outloud and I hate to admit it, but sometimes my mind wanders. Not tonight. Guess the verses that he started to read?

Alma 5:28-29 "..........I say unto you, if ye are not ye are not prepared to meet God. Behold ye must prepare quickly; for the kingdom of heaven is soon at hand, and such an one hath not eternal life.

Behold, I say, is there one among you who is not stripped of aenvy? I say unto you that such an one is not prepared; and I would that he should prepare quickly, for the hour is close at hand, and he knoweth not when the time shall come; for such an one is not found guiltless."

I shouted out, in the middle of Scott reading, "SERIOUSLY?! IT'S A SIGN!! I SHOULDN'T GO!"

But I'm going to choose not to be neurotic. If my plane gets hijacked my islamic extremists (hey, you never know...Midland, TX seems like a place they would target) then it's my time. :) haha.

So off I go tomorrow, to Midland, TX, with my sweet little Sophie in tow. I can't wait to see how she reacts to flying. The last time she flew she was a toddler and obviously doesn't remember. I know we'll be fine. But I'm sure, despite my better judgement, I'll leave a note somewhere for Scott. JUST IN CASE........