19 days

19 more days- as in 2 weeks and 5 days until my due date! I'm getting soooo ready. I have a doctors appointment today, and I am thinking about holding her hostage in the room until she checks to see if I am dilated. Maybe that is not such a good idea, but I'm not gonna lie- the thought has crossed my mind. My lower back is starting to hurt really bad. It's not the kind of feeling where I have done something muscularly.. it's a crampy feeling that doesn't go away, regardless of the position I am in. If I try laying down it hurts. If I stand it hurts. If I sit it hurts. I'm going to ask her about that today... maybe things are starting to happen. Or maybe nothing is happening at all and I'm just a wuss. We shall see.

Josie called me yesterday to tell me about her Dad. My heart breaks for her. There is absolutely nothing I could say or anyone could say to make the pain of it go away. I was thinking about him last night and the legacy he is going to leave. Josie has so many of his qualities.. he loved history and good books, learning, museums, and things like that. When I was staying with them in London this past February, he kept mentioning to Josie all of the different old bookstores in town that they should go check out, and he was so excited about them. I think it is because of him that Josie could muster through a giant book called "Rasputin"... All of these things that he has taught Josie and passed on to her, she will keep for the rest of her life, and pass on to her daughter. It boggles my mind that hardly even a year ago he was frolicking around Europe with us- 100% happy and content to be our chauffeur. He drove me to find a relative in Cardiff, Wales that I had never met. Then he waited patiently and watched rugby with an old Welsh man that is a distant cousin of mine while Josie and I listened to my cousin, Jane Williams talk about our genealogy. He waited patiently while we went into hundreds of souvenir shops with a smile on his face. He referred to me as Lady Morgan of Cardiff, because I insisted that my family is the rightful heir to the Cardiff castle. : ) I can honestly say he was one of the most unselfish, GOOD, pure in heart, and likable people that I have ever met. I am so happy to have gotten the chance to spend so much time with him and to known him.

It's a beautiful and sunny day here in Southern California. I'm off to go make the most of it!